Binge.

I have an addictive personality. I have very low self control. I binge food, television, sleep. I use these things to fill out my emotions and to hide from them and run. I can’t seem to run fast enough. Once the binging is done I have all of the same feelings, plus the unfathomable feeling of guilt. I feel so guilty always. Did I want to eat the fries, pint of ice cream, pasta, cookies? Well yes but no. I don’t want to use those delicacies as comfort. I want to be strong mentally to the point where I can just take some deep breaths and be fine. I don’t want to turn directly to food. I don’t want to waste my days binge watching tv, but I do it.