I would like to.

So if you’ve read my previous posts, you would be familiar with the fact that I have made quite a habit out of basing my happiness on self improvement. I’ve somehow convinced myself that in order to be happy with myself, I first have to be perfect in every aspect. I know self improvement is a good thing, and so is the desire for it. But it could also be kind of a trap. I say this because I am stuck in the future. I am stuck in the “what ifs” and “if onlys”. Anyway, with that being said, I want to list some of the things I believe I should improve on and some practices I should implement into my life. This is my ideal self:

I would like to be a vegan. I want to do what is best for my body and be the healthiest I can be.

I would like to do yoga and meditation every day. I would love to build a strong mental, physical, and spiritual foundation to work with.

I would like to be cultured and go to many places around the world to soak in every detail of what’s going on around me.

I would like to be outgoing and easily make connections with people.

I would like to be a part of a community.

I would like to go to the gym multiple times a week and feel myself getting stronger each day.

I would like to write blogs on movies I’ve watched and my analysis of them (maybe I will).

I would like to be more natural in my beauty and hygienic routines.

I would like to be an activist for things that matter.

I would like to always practice mindfulness.

I would like to help people who are suffering.

I would like to be more creative.

I would like to discover more of myself.

I would like to drink ayahuasca and purge all of my inner most troubles.

I would like to read books that inspire me.

I would like to have close bonds with people whom I have a connection with.

I would like to rid of my anxiety and bouts of depression.

I would like to be mentally stable and mentally strong.

I would like to believe in myself.

I would like to live somewhere new so I can start over and redefine who I am.

I would like to feel 100% comfortable being myself, and never wonder who that is.

I would like to smile more and feel more carefree.

I would like to discover what I’m good at.

I would like to be a better person with each day that I gain. But for some reason I can’t seem to consistently make any of these things that I would like to do happen.